Dear Youngest Son,
I am sorry I can't always answer all your questions. Here are my best attempts:
I just don't know if Jesus and the tooth fairy are friends.
I don't think Jesus knows if your loose tooth will be out before the end of kindergarten.
I am pretty sure that Adam and Eve did not have Legos. I agree, that is really sad.
I wish we could ask Grandma Carter to send us a postcard from heaven. You are right, it would be great to see what heaven looks like.
Love, Mom
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Dear Pharmacist
Dear Pharmacist,
Thank you for being so kind yesterday. I am sorry I shed a few tears. I am just feeling really depressed since my son has had a relapse of his kidney condition. I hate putting him back on these strong medications that make him very hard to live with. Thank you for being so sympathetic, especially after his doctor was not. You must be a mom. I could just tell. I am glad you agree that it is difficult to spend $120.00 in co-pays on medications that make my sons kidneys better, but make his temperament unbearable. Especially when we could buy the same medications overseas for around $5.00 each. Thanks again for making me feel better.
Sincerely, Shelley
Thank you for being so kind yesterday. I am sorry I shed a few tears. I am just feeling really depressed since my son has had a relapse of his kidney condition. I hate putting him back on these strong medications that make him very hard to live with. Thank you for being so sympathetic, especially after his doctor was not. You must be a mom. I could just tell. I am glad you agree that it is difficult to spend $120.00 in co-pays on medications that make my sons kidneys better, but make his temperament unbearable. Especially when we could buy the same medications overseas for around $5.00 each. Thanks again for making me feel better.
Sincerely, Shelley
Monday, March 12, 2012
Dear Elementary School
Dear Elementary School,
As your partner in education, I must give you some constructive criticism. Planning class picture day for a Monday is a bad idea. Planning class picture day for the Monday after daylight savings is a really bad idea. Not only did I forget about picture day, but I send one boy to school in a track suit, and the other in his favorite Star Wars t-shirt. At least their hair was combed, which to my credit, it always is.
My oldest son was very concerned when I woke him up early this morning for school due to daylight savings. I assured him that just because the days are longer, this does not mean that the school day is also longer. He did not believe me. If he had a scowel on his face today it is because he thinks you are pulling a "fast one" on him. I told him I felt the same way with the picture schedule.
Sincerely, Shelley
As your partner in education, I must give you some constructive criticism. Planning class picture day for a Monday is a bad idea. Planning class picture day for the Monday after daylight savings is a really bad idea. Not only did I forget about picture day, but I send one boy to school in a track suit, and the other in his favorite Star Wars t-shirt. At least their hair was combed, which to my credit, it always is.
My oldest son was very concerned when I woke him up early this morning for school due to daylight savings. I assured him that just because the days are longer, this does not mean that the school day is also longer. He did not believe me. If he had a scowel on his face today it is because he thinks you are pulling a "fast one" on him. I told him I felt the same way with the picture schedule.
Sincerely, Shelley
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Dear American School of Dubai
Dear American School of Dubai,
Thank you for finally giving us the news that our children have been reserved spots for the upcoming school year. Wow, I am really exhausted from the lengthy application process. I think your application and requirements are more involved than a college application. I still can't believe it was necessary for you to have letters of recommendation for incoming elementary school students.
I will admit I am a little nervous for the entrance exams my sons must take in August for final admittance. I promise my children are functioning on grade level, but what if they have test anxiety? How well do they need to do? Just a little FYI, I am a pretty accomplished baker. Mint brownies are one of my specialties. I may be bringing a few with me to the exam. Oh wait, it is going to be during Ramadan. Scratch that. Will you take an IOU?
Sincerely, Shelley (an educator who is NOT capable of homeschooling)
Thank you for finally giving us the news that our children have been reserved spots for the upcoming school year. Wow, I am really exhausted from the lengthy application process. I think your application and requirements are more involved than a college application. I still can't believe it was necessary for you to have letters of recommendation for incoming elementary school students.
I will admit I am a little nervous for the entrance exams my sons must take in August for final admittance. I promise my children are functioning on grade level, but what if they have test anxiety? How well do they need to do? Just a little FYI, I am a pretty accomplished baker. Mint brownies are one of my specialties. I may be bringing a few with me to the exam. Oh wait, it is going to be during Ramadan. Scratch that. Will you take an IOU?
Sincerely, Shelley (an educator who is NOT capable of homeschooling)
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Dear Stranger Dining at Chili's
Dear Stranger Dining at Chili's,
Did you enjoy your dinner tonight? You seemed to really be enjoying yourself sitting there at the bar with your boyfriend/spouse. My husband and I were enjoying our dinner, and then we were given a free dinner show by you. I commend you for having the confidence to wear a thong at your age. I would roughly guess you are around 60 years old. The thong was a beautiful cobalt blue color, very bright and hard to miss. It may just be me, but if I ever wear a thong I don't think I will do it when I am overweight and wearing very low jeans. But time will tell, I have eaten my words before, tonight I just couldn't eat my dinner without a smile.
Sincerely, Shelley
Did you enjoy your dinner tonight? You seemed to really be enjoying yourself sitting there at the bar with your boyfriend/spouse. My husband and I were enjoying our dinner, and then we were given a free dinner show by you. I commend you for having the confidence to wear a thong at your age. I would roughly guess you are around 60 years old. The thong was a beautiful cobalt blue color, very bright and hard to miss. It may just be me, but if I ever wear a thong I don't think I will do it when I am overweight and wearing very low jeans. But time will tell, I have eaten my words before, tonight I just couldn't eat my dinner without a smile.
Sincerely, Shelley
Friday, March 9, 2012
Dear Middle School Music Teacher
Dear Middle School Music Teacher,
Thank you for giving my daughter this opportunity to be in the school play. She is so excited for the performances next week. I am a little embarrassed to admit I can't remember what it was I signed up to help with for the play. I remember volunteering for something on your form, but then I returned it to you without writing down my given task. I have not heard from you, so hopefully my assignment has not already expired. Please don't hold my irresponsible behavior against my daughter, unlike me, she is very organized and reliable. She gets that from her dad, but please don't tell him I am admitting it.
Sincerely, Shelley
Thank you for giving my daughter this opportunity to be in the school play. She is so excited for the performances next week. I am a little embarrassed to admit I can't remember what it was I signed up to help with for the play. I remember volunteering for something on your form, but then I returned it to you without writing down my given task. I have not heard from you, so hopefully my assignment has not already expired. Please don't hold my irresponsible behavior against my daughter, unlike me, she is very organized and reliable. She gets that from her dad, but please don't tell him I am admitting it.
Sincerely, Shelley
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Dear Daughter
Dear Daughter,
I am sorry I mixed up your sandwich with your brothers. You know I am half awake in the mornings, so there are bound to be mistakes. Was it really necessary to tape the sandwich in it's baggie to the front door? After returning from walking your brother to the bus I thought it was a package delivery notification. You can imagine my disappointment when I discovered it was in fact my "scarlet letter" there for the whole neighborhood to see. Don't worry, it won't happen again. Starting tomorrow I am resigning from my position as sandwich maker.
Sincerely, Mom
I am sorry I mixed up your sandwich with your brothers. You know I am half awake in the mornings, so there are bound to be mistakes. Was it really necessary to tape the sandwich in it's baggie to the front door? After returning from walking your brother to the bus I thought it was a package delivery notification. You can imagine my disappointment when I discovered it was in fact my "scarlet letter" there for the whole neighborhood to see. Don't worry, it won't happen again. Starting tomorrow I am resigning from my position as sandwich maker.
Sincerely, Mom
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