Dear Bus Driver

Dear Kindergarten Bus Driver,
Thank you for bringing me joy every Monday-Friday at 11:20 am. Thank you for always being prompt and cheerful. I especially appreciate you waving goodbye to me daily since my son is too busy with his buddies to do so anymore. I will try to limit the number of kisses I blow now that you, alone, are aware of me standing there.

Sincerely, Shelley

Dear New Year's Resolutions

Dear New Year's Resolutions,
Wow, where did the month of January go? I am sorry I am just now getting around to you. In my defense, I already exercise every day. However, I am ready to talk if you are. I would like to resolve to drink less diet soda and consume fewer treats. Notice I did not say no treats. That would be impossible considering we are back in the U.S. and surrounded by inexpensive delicacies. Ok, so Hershey chocolate may not be considered a delicacy, but it certainly is inexpensive. So I will try to consume less until February. I can't possibly skip out on conversation hearts and sugar cookies. So why don't we just stick to me giving up diet soda. Great!

Sincerely, Shelley

Dear Family

Dear family,
I am so glad you liked Sunday dinner tonight. I must say quesadillas and seven-layer dip was not a traditional dinner, but it was yummy. I am glad the dip was a success. Remember when I tried to make seven-layer dip in Jordan last year? Whoa, was that a disaster! I should have known it wouldn't work when dealing with the following factors:
1. All ground meat in the Middle East has a certain percentage of lamb mixed in.
2. Avocados are expensive and they do not taste quite the same.
3. You can't buy taco seasoning.
4. Their sour cream is not sour, just cream.
5. Jordanian olives are delicious, but different in taste from U.S. canned black olives.

It is great being back in the U.S. this year where we can make so many fun things.

Next time I tell you we will be eating a yummy meal while we watch the Superbowl, I'll be sure to check the Superbowl schedule first.

Love, mom

Dear Trader Joe's

Dear Trader Joe's,
I cannot thank you enough for making salt-free products. My son has a kidney condition and he is on a low-sodium diet indefinitely. I buy your salt-free tortilla chips in bulk amounts! He loves them. I also buy a lot of your sunflower seed butter since my daughter is allergic to peanuts. It is so fantastic to have an alternative to peanut butter. And I may, or may not, buy a sufficient amount of your chocolate treats to get a busy mom through her necessary daily routine. 

My big question is why do you not sell products online? I feel you are really missing out on a huge opportunity. I know all my friends would be valiant customers. Especially in the state of Utah, where you have no stores. I lived overseas for four of the last five years. I had the opportunity to order things on the Internet that were shipped to my husband's work. On many occasions I was ordering from Netgrocer or Amazon and found myself wishing it was you instead. 

I hope you will consider my request.

Sincerely, Shelley (Trader Joe Toffee addict in denial)

Dear Mizani

Dear Mizani,

Thank you for making wonderful hair products. I have been a customer of yours for about three years now. After getting my hair cut a few years ago, the stylist recommended your hair serum. I bought it and loved it. I have been using it on the ends of my hair before blow drying.

This summer my sister-in-law was heading to the beauty supply store and offered to pick up any products I needed. I asked her to pick up some of your serum. When she got there she could not find the Mizani products. After inquiring she was sent to the hair products designed for African American hair. What may surprise you is that I have very fine sandy-blonde highlighted hair! You can imagine my surprise at this discovery! Then as I remembered that hair cut a few years back, I remembered that my stylist had black thick hair.

So my question to you is, are your products in fact designed only for this certain hair type? If they are, why are you limiting your customer base? Just between you and me, my real hair color could be quite dark brown by now. I keep highlighting cause I have no intention of finding out. I would like to continue to use your products, please advise.


Sincerely, Shelley

Dear Daughter

Dear daughter,

Thank you for an enjoyable date to the mall. I thoroughly enjoyed spending time together. It is so great to be back living in the United States this year. Thank you for making me aware of the latest fashion trends. I had no idea the fluorescent colors of my youth would return!

I was sorry to learn about the incident in choir class today. Shame on the girl who pointed out to the whole class that you were the only student in your row not wearing real Ugg boots. Ugh! That must have been very embarrassing. I do sympathize. I remember wanting to have the latest styles when I was your age. Nana use to drive us kids from California to Tijuana, Mexico so we could get the knock-off name brands!

You have been exposed to some pretty unique things in your young life. Remember when we lived in Mexico and we visited the orphanage weekly. We decided to hold a shoe drive just so they could each have a pair of shoes, all 140 of them. We filled our van with bags and bags of shoes. You did such a good job that night fitting the little girls in their new (used) shoes. The last two years in Jordan you daily saw poverty in our very own neighborhood. Often the bedouin kids did not have shoes.

I am glad we found that shirt you liked tonight with the brand everyone is wearing. I am also glad it was on sale! :) Forgive me if I do not buy your every desire. We will find a compromise, like Nana did.

I am so proud of the young woman you are becoming. At the age of eleven you understand so much of the real world. You are a wonderful, caring daughter. Always remember that I love you so much.

Sincerely, Mom

Dear McDonald's

Dear McDonald’s,

Thank you for your willingness to make a special Happy Meal for my youngest son. He has a kidney condition and is on a low sodium diet. Thank you for not adding unnecessary salt to your hamburger patties. I love that I can order a plain hamburger for him. Did you know that a serving of ketchup has more sodium than a small bag of chips? Thank you for not putting salt on his small bag of fries. You are about the only restaurant willing to make fries with no salt. Did I mention he loves fries. Your apples are a great healthy addition, I love that they are included in every meal.

If I could ask just one favor, it would be that you add a few more items on your menu that I would enjoy eating. I am sorry to say, I am not a fan of your hamburgers. Have you ever eaten at In-n-Out? Now that is a burger! I will eat your chicken nuggets, reluctantly. I feel I am eating kids’ food when I do. Your salads could use a bit more substance and guilt-free taste.

Please don’t think I am ungrateful. I do appreciate you giving me somewhere to go when I am not in the mood to cook and clean-up after dinner.

Sincerely,

Shelley (a reluctant frequent customer)

Dear Bath and Body Works

Dear Bath and Body Works,

Thank you for being one of my favorite stores. I have loved you for quite some time. I buy your hand soaps and candles regularly. Thank you for having awesome sales and coupons. Thank you for the free shipping on so many occasions.

I have a question that I hope you can answer. Do you consider your handsoaps gift worthy? You see, for quite a few years now I have been gifting your hand soaps. You know, the ones with the pumps and the incredible scents. I only ask because my three unruly children always make fun of me when I give your soap to someone. They claim, “soap is not a present”. I disagree. I think it is the perfect little something to give a teacher or a gracious hostess. Who does not need or use soap? Did I mention I wrap them in your complimentary (thank you) cellophane bags with a pretty ribbon and matching card? The mere fact that you give me the cellophane bags confirms my instincts that they are indeed, meant to be gifted.

Thank you again for bringing me joy at a reasonable price. I am forever your customer, regardless of your response.

Sincerely,

Shelley (a soap enthusiast)

Dear Dubai

Dear Dubai,

I finally got my husband to take me to the movie Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol. Hubby is not a huge Tom Cruise fan, nor am I for that matter. But I heard it was filmed in your glamorous city, so we had to see it. I loved the movie, but was disappointed to not see more of you. You were in the midst of a sandstorm for a good portion of that part of the film. Now, I am assuming that scene was Hollywoodized and the sandstorms are not that quick to come or intense. Are they really like that?

We are moving to you this summer. I can hardly wait. I have lived in Jordan and I speak some Arabic. I hope to serve you well. I think me coming will be mutually beneficial. I promise to serve the needy in your community and promote tourism by recruiting my family and friends to come visit. In return I ask for many sunny days by the pool with minimal sandstorms.

Sincerely,

Shelley (future resident)

P.S. Did you notice my name has the word “shell” in it. I was also given the nickname “Shams” (the word for “sunny” in Arabic, as you know) in my Arabic class. I think it is destiny bringing us together (not my husband’s employer).

Dear Church Executive Secretary

Dear Church Executive Secretary,

First, let me thank you for the service you give every week. Taking attendance for a congregation as large as ours cannot be an easy task. You seem very organized with your small notebook, making notes as you walk up and down the aisles.

I have a confession. No, not that kind of confession. I may have used your position to my advantage. I may have told my naughty six-year old son that you are not in fact taking attendance, but instead writing down the names of the children who are misbehaving. I may have also told him that your notebook goes into the hands of the bishop who then reports to the obligatory parties. You know, Jesus, Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc.

I am sorry for my little white lie at your expense. It really seemed like a good idea at the time. Did I mention my son can be very naughty? It maybe wouldn’t have happened if you did not always have such a stern, serious look on your face during the given task. My son is quite frightened by you.

If you can find it in your Christian heart to forgive me, I will promise to tell my son the truth. I will tell him that you are a nice man volunteering your time to simply take attendance. But, if it is all right with you, can I wait a few more months before I tell him? I am really enjoying being able to listen to the talks for a change.

Sincerely,

Shelley (a very desperate mother of three)

Dear Youngest Son

Dear Youngest Son,

Congratulations on your excellent performance at your gymnastics review. I was very impressed with your newly acquired skills. Your cartwheels and handstands were outstanding. You have once again shown you are a very coordinated and agile child. Congrats again.

I have a small favor. If it is not too much to ask, could you please fall down or mess-up on occasion? You see, in case you have forgotten, your older brother is also in your class. I hope you have noticed, although I seriously doubt you have, things are not as easy for him. Yes, I know he is almost three years older than you, and should be able to do a somersault by now, but it is slow going for the poor guy. I know, it is my fault for putting you in the same class. But, I could not commit to driving and waiting for two separate classes.

I really appreciate your help in this matter. Yes, I am willing to throw in a little extra computer time for full cooperation. Let’s say one fall or mistake will equal ten minutes. Deal?

Sincerely,

Mom

Dear Blogosphere

Dear Blogosphere,

Thank you for giving me something to do every night. Does it count as "blogging" if I am only spending my time reading blogs? I think I am ready to make a small contribution in your big, big world. Please be kind and make this an easy process for me, a technology challenged mother of three and wife to one.

Sincerely,

Shelley