Dear Macy's Sales Associate,
Thank you so much for helping my husband and I this afternoon. I know we took a lot of your time. Just be glad we came while our kids were in school. I was so happy that my hubby finally found some dress shoes that he liked. We had been to several stores before we came to you. My husband does not enjoy shopping, something I can't comprehend. So you can imagine how happy we were to finally find the right shoes, and you can picture our disappointment tonight when we discovered we came home with two left shoes. I tried to tease him about having two left feet. It wasn't too funny because he is a great dancer, just not a good shopper.
Sincerely, Shelley
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Dear Mothers of Boys
Dear Mothers of Boys,
I have noticed something peculiar over the last year. Most young boys are going to school without combing their hair these days. I first noticed this when I began working in the international school in Amman last year. My students were of many different nationalities, yet they all had one thing in common, their messy hair! Then last summer we moved here to Washington, DC and it is the same scenario. Every morning my sons are the only ones at the bus stop with wet, combed hair. I asked one of my more "style conscious" friends and she told me that "bed head" is very hip right now. Do you all agree? I just don't know if I can do it. My boys have really wild hair in the mornings. Maybe you are all just styling your sons hair to look like bed head? Please advise, I am very perplexed by this issue.
Sincerely, Shelley and her styled sons
I have noticed something peculiar over the last year. Most young boys are going to school without combing their hair these days. I first noticed this when I began working in the international school in Amman last year. My students were of many different nationalities, yet they all had one thing in common, their messy hair! Then last summer we moved here to Washington, DC and it is the same scenario. Every morning my sons are the only ones at the bus stop with wet, combed hair. I asked one of my more "style conscious" friends and she told me that "bed head" is very hip right now. Do you all agree? I just don't know if I can do it. My boys have really wild hair in the mornings. Maybe you are all just styling your sons hair to look like bed head? Please advise, I am very perplexed by this issue.
Sincerely, Shelley and her styled sons
Monday, February 27, 2012
Dear Oldest Son
Dear Oldest Son,
I am so glad you have taken an interest in science experiments. I am glad you liked looking through the various science books I have. Those books have lots of neat ideas, my students have used them to find some great experiments. I do not recall seeing any experiments in my books that involve freezing water balloons. Are you sure you found that idea in my books? If you are experimenting how much it hurts when a frozen balloon falls out of the freezer onto a barefoot, let me say it hurts a lot.
Sincerely, Mom
I am so glad you have taken an interest in science experiments. I am glad you liked looking through the various science books I have. Those books have lots of neat ideas, my students have used them to find some great experiments. I do not recall seeing any experiments in my books that involve freezing water balloons. Are you sure you found that idea in my books? If you are experimenting how much it hurts when a frozen balloon falls out of the freezer onto a barefoot, let me say it hurts a lot.
Sincerely, Mom
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Dear Children
Dear Daughter,
No matter how MANY TIMES you ask me for the same thing, my answer will remain the same.
Dear Youngest Son,
No matter how LOUDLY you ask me for the same thing, my answer will remain the same.
Dear Oldest Son,
If there is ever anything you want to ask me please don't hesitate. You may not like my answer, but you can still ask. Is my potential answer the reason you never ask for ANYTHING?
Sincerely, Mom
No matter how MANY TIMES you ask me for the same thing, my answer will remain the same.
Dear Youngest Son,
No matter how LOUDLY you ask me for the same thing, my answer will remain the same.
Dear Oldest Son,
If there is ever anything you want to ask me please don't hesitate. You may not like my answer, but you can still ask. Is my potential answer the reason you never ask for ANYTHING?
Sincerely, Mom
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Dear Friend
Dear Friend,
Thank you so much for inviting my son to your son's birthday party. He had a wonderful time. He thoroughly enjoyed the pirate theme with all the fun games, food, and especially the treasure hunt.
Once again, I am so sorry I brought him to the party an hour before the designated starting time. I am so embarrassed that I only looked at the invitation once and mistook the time. Thank you for being so gracious and letting him feel welcome while you were still getting ready for the big event. He enjoyed helping with the party preparations and was happy to be the first to arrive.
Sincerely, Shelley
Thank you so much for inviting my son to your son's birthday party. He had a wonderful time. He thoroughly enjoyed the pirate theme with all the fun games, food, and especially the treasure hunt.
Once again, I am so sorry I brought him to the party an hour before the designated starting time. I am so embarrassed that I only looked at the invitation once and mistook the time. Thank you for being so gracious and letting him feel welcome while you were still getting ready for the big event. He enjoyed helping with the party preparations and was happy to be the first to arrive.
Sincerely, Shelley
Friday, February 24, 2012
Dear Neighbor
Dear Neighbor,
I know. You may not realize I saw you at the park with your secret. Your wife would be so disappointed and upset if she found out.
It was just a few months ago you had your heart scare. Your wife said the doctor told you to lose weight and get in shape. Your wife has changed the way she cooks and I thought you were exercising every day. But there you were hiding in the park's pavilion with your McDonald's bag. I know your wife thought you were exercising. Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. Change is hard. Hang in there and try to do better. We all have setbacks. I'm cheering for you.
Sincerely, Shelley
I know. You may not realize I saw you at the park with your secret. Your wife would be so disappointed and upset if she found out.
It was just a few months ago you had your heart scare. Your wife said the doctor told you to lose weight and get in shape. Your wife has changed the way she cooks and I thought you were exercising every day. But there you were hiding in the park's pavilion with your McDonald's bag. I know your wife thought you were exercising. Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. Change is hard. Hang in there and try to do better. We all have setbacks. I'm cheering for you.
Sincerely, Shelley
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Dear Staples
Dear Staples,
My husband wishes to thank you for offering free bulk shredding during the month of February. He appreciates you giving me a reason to go through the boxes of old documents I have neglected in our garage. I have spent the month going through old bank account statements, pay stubs, house docs, etc. My husband and I have enjoyed reminiscing over how little money we had when we were first married and lived off my modest teacher's salary.
Today I was feeling optimistic that I would finish this nightly project by the end of the month. You can imagine my surprise this afternoon when your sales associate told me your free shredding is not over until the end of March! Being a natural procrastinator, I was not pleased. I feel like I was tricked into doing something earlier than I would have. I'll get over it.
Sincerely, Shelley the Shredder
My husband wishes to thank you for offering free bulk shredding during the month of February. He appreciates you giving me a reason to go through the boxes of old documents I have neglected in our garage. I have spent the month going through old bank account statements, pay stubs, house docs, etc. My husband and I have enjoyed reminiscing over how little money we had when we were first married and lived off my modest teacher's salary.
Today I was feeling optimistic that I would finish this nightly project by the end of the month. You can imagine my surprise this afternoon when your sales associate told me your free shredding is not over until the end of March! Being a natural procrastinator, I was not pleased. I feel like I was tricked into doing something earlier than I would have. I'll get over it.
Sincerely, Shelley the Shredder
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Dear Elementary School Librarian
Dear Elementary School Librarian,
Hi, I am the mother of one of your third grade students. I was just wondering how closely you track the books your students check out. You see, my son brings home the same library books every other week. He and a buddy have a little system going, probably unbeknownst to the library staff. They are both a little obssessed with rocks and minerals, so they each check out three books on rocks and minerals each week. Then, the next week they return their books and bring home the friend's books they just returned. So, according to my son, they have monopolized your library's six books on their favorite subject the entire school year.
Just thought you should know.
Sincerely, Shelley (mother of the mineral menace)
Hi, I am the mother of one of your third grade students. I was just wondering how closely you track the books your students check out. You see, my son brings home the same library books every other week. He and a buddy have a little system going, probably unbeknownst to the library staff. They are both a little obssessed with rocks and minerals, so they each check out three books on rocks and minerals each week. Then, the next week they return their books and bring home the friend's books they just returned. So, according to my son, they have monopolized your library's six books on their favorite subject the entire school year.
Just thought you should know.
Sincerely, Shelley (mother of the mineral menace)
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Dear Catholic Friends
Dear Catholic Friends,
Happy Fat Tuesday (I hope this is something you say)! I know a few of you are heading to church tonight to sing and feast on pancakes. The combination of music and pancakes sounds like a wonderful event.
Over the years I have witnessed many of you make sacrifices during the Lent period. I have watched you give up T.V., Diet Coke, Facebook, chocolate, and other sacrifices. I have always been impressed with your steadfastness and dedication, and I have been there with several of you when it is a hard day and you have wanted that chocolate bar or drink.
So, let's get down to my question. Let's say I want to participate in Lent this year. Do I have to necessarily be Catholic? I have something in mind, but I am still deciding. The duration is until Easter, and Sundays are free days, correct? I am excited to give this a try. If I do not hear from any of you that my decision is completely offensive, I think I will proceed.
Sincerely, Shelley
Happy Fat Tuesday (I hope this is something you say)! I know a few of you are heading to church tonight to sing and feast on pancakes. The combination of music and pancakes sounds like a wonderful event.
Over the years I have witnessed many of you make sacrifices during the Lent period. I have watched you give up T.V., Diet Coke, Facebook, chocolate, and other sacrifices. I have always been impressed with your steadfastness and dedication, and I have been there with several of you when it is a hard day and you have wanted that chocolate bar or drink.
So, let's get down to my question. Let's say I want to participate in Lent this year. Do I have to necessarily be Catholic? I have something in mind, but I am still deciding. The duration is until Easter, and Sundays are free days, correct? I am excited to give this a try. If I do not hear from any of you that my decision is completely offensive, I think I will proceed.
Sincerely, Shelley
Monday, February 20, 2012
Dear Urgent Care Doctor
Dear Urgent Care Doctor,
I know the quick test said I do not have strep throat, but it has been two more days and I am still feeling really crummy. I appreciate how quickly your office saw me the other day, but perhaps it was a little too quick and we missed something? Please advise, I can only use the "I'm sick" routine so long with my family. At this point I will take any diagnosis that assists me in acquiring additional sympathy. Also, can you write me a note to get me out of my cub scout duties this week? That would be great!
Sincerely, Soar Throat Shelley
I know the quick test said I do not have strep throat, but it has been two more days and I am still feeling really crummy. I appreciate how quickly your office saw me the other day, but perhaps it was a little too quick and we missed something? Please advise, I can only use the "I'm sick" routine so long with my family. At this point I will take any diagnosis that assists me in acquiring additional sympathy. Also, can you write me a note to get me out of my cub scout duties this week? That would be great!
Sincerely, Soar Throat Shelley
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Dear Children
Dear Children,
I am so glad you all enjoyed ice skating yesterday. Isn't it ironic that you were all scared to try ice skating and then you all loved it? I know we have not had the snow we hoped for, but at least we got to try out one winter sport.
Let me just make a few clarifications for your benefit.
1. Yes, the ice has to be slippery. I realize you would fall less if it were not slippery, but I am sorry to say ice is always slippery.
2. No, you don't have to wear a helmet like when you ride your bike. I was not neglectful by not bringing your helmet, it really is not required.
3. The vehicle that cleans the ice is called a zambodie, not a zucchini.
4. The sport we saw on the opposite rink is called hockey, not "hugging". Although I can see why you thought it was called hugging, when they are knocking into each other it does kind of look like hugging. Maybe we should suggest a name change. Your cousins play hockey, let's run it by them.
I can clearly see we need to spend more time this year familiarizing you with U.S. culture.
Sincerely, Mom
I am so glad you all enjoyed ice skating yesterday. Isn't it ironic that you were all scared to try ice skating and then you all loved it? I know we have not had the snow we hoped for, but at least we got to try out one winter sport.
Let me just make a few clarifications for your benefit.
1. Yes, the ice has to be slippery. I realize you would fall less if it were not slippery, but I am sorry to say ice is always slippery.
2. No, you don't have to wear a helmet like when you ride your bike. I was not neglectful by not bringing your helmet, it really is not required.
3. The vehicle that cleans the ice is called a zambodie, not a zucchini.
4. The sport we saw on the opposite rink is called hockey, not "hugging". Although I can see why you thought it was called hugging, when they are knocking into each other it does kind of look like hugging. Maybe we should suggest a name change. Your cousins play hockey, let's run it by them.
I can clearly see we need to spend more time this year familiarizing you with U.S. culture.
Sincerely, Mom
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Dear Mother Nature
Dear Mother Nature,
I am starting to think I had too high of expectations of our year in Washington D.C. Since you gave this area several big snow storms the last few years, I anticipated the same this year. Unfortunately, I got my three kids really excited for our year here. I told them we would be sledding, building snowmen, and possibly they would learn to ski.
I realize it is a bit hypocritical to be asking you for snow, since I have spent my whole life in pursuit of blissful heat. However, I find it cruel that you gave Amman, Jordan snow this weekend and we are without snow again! We lived in Amman the last two years and we never came close to snow. Now come on, these few teases you have given us this winter are just not sufficient. I am getting a bit desperate since we are moving to Dubai this summer. I don't want my kids only childhood memories of playing in the snow to be at the Dubai indoor ski resort with man made snow! So, what do you say? Do you mind giving us a little white love?
Sincerely, Shelley
I am starting to think I had too high of expectations of our year in Washington D.C. Since you gave this area several big snow storms the last few years, I anticipated the same this year. Unfortunately, I got my three kids really excited for our year here. I told them we would be sledding, building snowmen, and possibly they would learn to ski.
I realize it is a bit hypocritical to be asking you for snow, since I have spent my whole life in pursuit of blissful heat. However, I find it cruel that you gave Amman, Jordan snow this weekend and we are without snow again! We lived in Amman the last two years and we never came close to snow. Now come on, these few teases you have given us this winter are just not sufficient. I am getting a bit desperate since we are moving to Dubai this summer. I don't want my kids only childhood memories of playing in the snow to be at the Dubai indoor ski resort with man made snow! So, what do you say? Do you mind giving us a little white love?
Sincerely, Shelley
Friday, February 17, 2012
Dear Sons
Dear Sons,
I enjoyed going to your school tonight for Literacy Night. That was very fun to listen to stories being read by your teachers, principal, and librarian. I was so impressed to see you both can sit still for long periods of time. This gives me new hope for dinner time!
I was happy to see you filled your bags with books to bring home from the "book swap". I was disappointed to see you brought home lots of the books we had donated! The idea of a "swap" is to come home with different books. I had no idea you were attached to the books that have been gathering dust on your shelves. I'm sorry I tried to give them away "to kids you don't even know."
Sincerely, Mom
I enjoyed going to your school tonight for Literacy Night. That was very fun to listen to stories being read by your teachers, principal, and librarian. I was so impressed to see you both can sit still for long periods of time. This gives me new hope for dinner time!
I was happy to see you filled your bags with books to bring home from the "book swap". I was disappointed to see you brought home lots of the books we had donated! The idea of a "swap" is to come home with different books. I had no idea you were attached to the books that have been gathering dust on your shelves. I'm sorry I tried to give them away "to kids you don't even know."
Sincerely, Mom
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Dear Cub Scout
Dear Cub Scout,
Thank you for your enthusiasm at scouts the other night. I am so glad you enjoyed the discussion about religions. I am sorry I could not answer all of your questions. I can not say for certain whether you had a mustache in heaven before you were born. I join you in hoping that God will allow you to keep your anticipated mustache when you die.
Sincerely, Shelley (your Cub Scout Leader)
Thank you for your enthusiasm at scouts the other night. I am so glad you enjoyed the discussion about religions. I am sorry I could not answer all of your questions. I can not say for certain whether you had a mustache in heaven before you were born. I join you in hoping that God will allow you to keep your anticipated mustache when you die.
Sincerely, Shelley (your Cub Scout Leader)
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Dear Lego Enthusiast
Dear Lego Enthusiast,
Thank you so much for your help at Toys'R'Us today. I am so glad you were shopping for Minifigures at the same time. Let me commend you again for your excellent skills in determining which Lego figure was inside each foil bag. My kids were so thrilled I was able to acquire all the figures they were hoping for. They were all anxious to do jobs after school today to start earning them.
I again promise that if I ever meet your wife I will not tell her where we met. I am sorry she thinks you have a Lego addiction. May I just say though, there are other sound investments out there. I really wish you would rethink your decision to not let your son play with your $50,000. Lego collection. I think it would be ok if he opened a few of the boxes, since they are considered by some to be TOYS.
Anyway, thanks again for your help. My six year old is convinced you must have x-ray vision. I told him that you just really love Legos!
Sincerely, Shelley
Thank you so much for your help at Toys'R'Us today. I am so glad you were shopping for Minifigures at the same time. Let me commend you again for your excellent skills in determining which Lego figure was inside each foil bag. My kids were so thrilled I was able to acquire all the figures they were hoping for. They were all anxious to do jobs after school today to start earning them.
I again promise that if I ever meet your wife I will not tell her where we met. I am sorry she thinks you have a Lego addiction. May I just say though, there are other sound investments out there. I really wish you would rethink your decision to not let your son play with your $50,000. Lego collection. I think it would be ok if he opened a few of the boxes, since they are considered by some to be TOYS.
Anyway, thanks again for your help. My six year old is convinced you must have x-ray vision. I told him that you just really love Legos!
Sincerely, Shelley
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Dear Mom and Dad
Dear Mom and Dad,
Happy Anniversary! Wow, 40 years of marriage! What an accomplishment. I promised to not tease you for getting married on Valentine's Day this year, no matter how cheesy I think it is. If I were not tired from helping out with two class parties at the elementary school today I would write a list of the 40 things I admire about your relationship. Let's just go with four instead, sound good?
1. I admire how much you respect one another.
2. I admire you for finding new hobbies to enjoy together.
3. I admire the fact that you always invested in your relationship and took trips together every year.
4. I admire that you have dedicated a large part of your lives to serving others. I feel this is the biggest key to your success.
So, happy anniversary. I cannot wait to celebrate in April. Thanks for taking hubby and me on a cruise because we are your favorites. My siblings keep telling me they are invited as well, is this true??
Sincerely, Shelley (your favorite child)
Happy Anniversary! Wow, 40 years of marriage! What an accomplishment. I promised to not tease you for getting married on Valentine's Day this year, no matter how cheesy I think it is. If I were not tired from helping out with two class parties at the elementary school today I would write a list of the 40 things I admire about your relationship. Let's just go with four instead, sound good?
1. I admire how much you respect one another.
2. I admire you for finding new hobbies to enjoy together.
3. I admire the fact that you always invested in your relationship and took trips together every year.
4. I admire that you have dedicated a large part of your lives to serving others. I feel this is the biggest key to your success.
So, happy anniversary. I cannot wait to celebrate in April. Thanks for taking hubby and me on a cruise because we are your favorites. My siblings keep telling me they are invited as well, is this true??
Sincerely, Shelley (your favorite child)
Monday, February 13, 2012
Dear Sister
Dear Sister,
Congratulations on your television debut! How exciting it was today to see you on the Nate Berkus show. I've always thought you were extremely creative and now the whole world got to see a small sample of your talent. You should be very house proud! I'm proud, and I won't admit I did not know who Nate was a few months ago.
Sincerely, Shelley (Your favorite big sister)
Congratulations on your television debut! How exciting it was today to see you on the Nate Berkus show. I've always thought you were extremely creative and now the whole world got to see a small sample of your talent. You should be very house proud! I'm proud, and I won't admit I did not know who Nate was a few months ago.
Sincerely, Shelley (Your favorite big sister)
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Dear Friends of my Daughter
Dear Friends of my Daughter,
Thank you for being such sweet, caring friends to my daughter. She is very fortunate to have you all in her life. I appreciate you being there for her.
You may not be aware, that unlike all of you, my daughter does not have a cell phone. You are in fact calling and texting me, her mother, several times a day. As much as I have enjoyed trying to decipher your coded texts, if you could please limit the amount of texts you send it would be greatly appreciated. No, unfortunately my daughter will not be getting her own cell phone until she can pay for it herself. I do not foresee this happening anytime in the near future.
Sincerely, Ms Shelley (the MOM of your BFF)
Thank you for being such sweet, caring friends to my daughter. She is very fortunate to have you all in her life. I appreciate you being there for her.
You may not be aware, that unlike all of you, my daughter does not have a cell phone. You are in fact calling and texting me, her mother, several times a day. As much as I have enjoyed trying to decipher your coded texts, if you could please limit the amount of texts you send it would be greatly appreciated. No, unfortunately my daughter will not be getting her own cell phone until she can pay for it herself. I do not foresee this happening anytime in the near future.
Sincerely, Ms Shelley (the MOM of your BFF)
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Dear Youngest Son
Dear Youngest Son,
I enjoyed making Valentine cards with you tonight. I did not think it would take "so long" to make them. I am sorry you felt like an elf at the North Pole on an assembly line. You just needed to trust in my production method. I agree, it would have been much easier to color in those small hearts if you had "tiny elf hands". I apologize again for getting carried away with the glitter, but I know your classmates are going to love the cards.
Sincerely, Mom
I enjoyed making Valentine cards with you tonight. I did not think it would take "so long" to make them. I am sorry you felt like an elf at the North Pole on an assembly line. You just needed to trust in my production method. I agree, it would have been much easier to color in those small hearts if you had "tiny elf hands". I apologize again for getting carried away with the glitter, but I know your classmates are going to love the cards.
Sincerely, Mom
Friday, February 10, 2012
Dear Children
Dear Children,
This is a kind reminder that on the weekends dad and I place the laundry basket blocking our bedroom door as a reminder to you that we will be sleeping in. There is no reason for you to wake us up at 6:00 am on the weekend. I would love for you to tell me that it did NOT snow anytime after 7:00 am.
Sincerely, mom
This is a kind reminder that on the weekends dad and I place the laundry basket blocking our bedroom door as a reminder to you that we will be sleeping in. There is no reason for you to wake us up at 6:00 am on the weekend. I would love for you to tell me that it did NOT snow anytime after 7:00 am.
Sincerely, mom
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Dear Bashar Al-Assad
Dear Bashar Al-Assad,
Enough already. REALLY, enough! History does not need to repeat itself. Be better than your father. My six year old son watched CNN with me and asked, "Mom, why would someone bomb a school. There are no bad guys inside there." ENOUGH.
Sincerely, Shelley
Enough already. REALLY, enough! History does not need to repeat itself. Be better than your father. My six year old son watched CNN with me and asked, "Mom, why would someone bomb a school. There are no bad guys inside there." ENOUGH.
Sincerely, Shelley
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Dear Oldest Son
Dear Oldest Son,
I am so glad you are excited for Valentine's Day. I agree, the quarter would make a great "official coin of Valentine's Day". Yes, it does look like the eagle is holding Cupid's arrows and the olives from the olive branch could definitely represent round candies. As you pointed out, the eagle is looking at the candy because when choosing between love and candy, it is an easy choice!
Sincerely, Mom
I am so glad you are excited for Valentine's Day. I agree, the quarter would make a great "official coin of Valentine's Day". Yes, it does look like the eagle is holding Cupid's arrows and the olives from the olive branch could definitely represent round candies. As you pointed out, the eagle is looking at the candy because when choosing between love and candy, it is an easy choice!
Sincerely, Mom
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Dear Oldest Son
Dear Oldest Son,
Wow! I mean really, wow! I knew you were talented at art, but wow! Your chalk drawing is outstanding. Thanks for trying the art class. Sorry there were no other boys in the class. Thanks for selling me your drawing for just $2.00, I promise to always cherish it.
Sincerely, Mom
Wow! I mean really, wow! I knew you were talented at art, but wow! Your chalk drawing is outstanding. Thanks for trying the art class. Sorry there were no other boys in the class. Thanks for selling me your drawing for just $2.00, I promise to always cherish it.
Sincerely, Mom
Monday, February 6, 2012
Dear Sons
Dear Sons,
Thank you for playing outside for two hours today. I am so glad you enjoyed exploring the stream behind the house. Congratulations on assembling quite an amazing display of "treasures" from the stream.
Boys, next time could you please not place your treasures on the driveway behind the wheels of our car? Thanks. I would hate for any of your remarkable findings (or a tire) to be damaged. I am also glad I swerved just enough to miss hitting your giant sword (rusty old pipe) this afternoon.
Sincerely, mom
Thank you for playing outside for two hours today. I am so glad you enjoyed exploring the stream behind the house. Congratulations on assembling quite an amazing display of "treasures" from the stream.
Boys, next time could you please not place your treasures on the driveway behind the wheels of our car? Thanks. I would hate for any of your remarkable findings (or a tire) to be damaged. I am also glad I swerved just enough to miss hitting your giant sword (rusty old pipe) this afternoon.
Sincerely, mom
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Dear Matthew Broderick
Dear Matthew Broderick,
LOVED the commercial tonight. It was definitely my favorite during the SuperBowl. Honestly, I don't know what you were advertising, but you sure brought back good memories. Between you and Madonna, the night was a big blast from the past.
Sincerely, Shelley
LOVED the commercial tonight. It was definitely my favorite during the SuperBowl. Honestly, I don't know what you were advertising, but you sure brought back good memories. Between you and Madonna, the night was a big blast from the past.
Sincerely, Shelley
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Dear Children
Dear Children,
I am so glad you had a nice time at the car show with dad today. It sounds like you saw some amazing vehicles. I am sorry our plain white minivan seems boring now. Remember the Swagger Wagon YouTube videos? You thought our van was pretty cool after watching those videos. Yes, I agree, our van would be cooler if it was a Transformer. Yes, covering our minivan with giant decals would be "totally awesome".
Love, Mom
I am so glad you had a nice time at the car show with dad today. It sounds like you saw some amazing vehicles. I am sorry our plain white minivan seems boring now. Remember the Swagger Wagon YouTube videos? You thought our van was pretty cool after watching those videos. Yes, I agree, our van would be cooler if it was a Transformer. Yes, covering our minivan with giant decals would be "totally awesome".
Love, Mom
Friday, February 3, 2012
Dear Fathers of my Cub Scouts
Dear Fathers of my Cub Scouts,
Congratulations on a great Pinewood Derby. Tonight was a lot of fun, I really enjoyed seeing the cars you made. You did a great job turning a block of wood into something spectacular. Don't be disappointed if you did not win, the Derby is just to have fun with your friends and make something you can be proud of.
Sincerely, Shelley (your son's Cub Scout Leader)
Congratulations on a great Pinewood Derby. Tonight was a lot of fun, I really enjoyed seeing the cars you made. You did a great job turning a block of wood into something spectacular. Don't be disappointed if you did not win, the Derby is just to have fun with your friends and make something you can be proud of.
Sincerely, Shelley (your son's Cub Scout Leader)
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Dear Sons
Dear Sons,
Happy Groundhog's Day! I again apologize that I neglected to inform you about this "awesome" holiday while we lived overseas. I had no idea it would be so exciting for you. I am sorry you were disappointed to wake up to no decorations this morning.
Here are my answers to your many inquiries.
No, I do not think the groundhog has been trained.
No, I do not think he had access to the weather on the Internet.
No, I do not think there is a "groundhog tracker" like there is for Santa.
No, I do not think we should go look for groundhogs today.
Sincerely, Mom
Happy Groundhog's Day! I again apologize that I neglected to inform you about this "awesome" holiday while we lived overseas. I had no idea it would be so exciting for you. I am sorry you were disappointed to wake up to no decorations this morning.
Here are my answers to your many inquiries.
No, I do not think the groundhog has been trained.
No, I do not think he had access to the weather on the Internet.
No, I do not think there is a "groundhog tracker" like there is for Santa.
No, I do not think we should go look for groundhogs today.
Sincerely, Mom
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Dear Hubby
Dear Hubby,
This is your official notice that Valentine's Day is two weeks away. I know you have informed me you can't be held responsible for any holiday gifts if I have not given you at least two weeks notice.
I am very aware that this is your least desirable half of the calendar year. You have to worry about Christmas, Valentine's Day, my birthday, Mother's Day, and then our anniversary! Whoa, I am tired just from typing all those holidays. Just remember that then you get six months off!
Despite my high expectations, given that I am a "gift person", I realize I have no need to worry since you have been consistent and have showered me with many fine gifts over the years. Not only your thoughtful gifts, but also your unwavering dedication to our family shows me how much you care for the kids and me. But I especially appreciate the gifts.
Sincerely, Your Valentine
XoXxxoOOxo
(big kiss, little hug, big kiss, two little kisses, little hug, two big hugs, little kiss, little hug)
This is your official notice that Valentine's Day is two weeks away. I know you have informed me you can't be held responsible for any holiday gifts if I have not given you at least two weeks notice.
I am very aware that this is your least desirable half of the calendar year. You have to worry about Christmas, Valentine's Day, my birthday, Mother's Day, and then our anniversary! Whoa, I am tired just from typing all those holidays. Just remember that then you get six months off!
Despite my high expectations, given that I am a "gift person", I realize I have no need to worry since you have been consistent and have showered me with many fine gifts over the years. Not only your thoughtful gifts, but also your unwavering dedication to our family shows me how much you care for the kids and me. But I especially appreciate the gifts.
Sincerely, Your Valentine
XoXxxoOOxo
(big kiss, little hug, big kiss, two little kisses, little hug, two big hugs, little kiss, little hug)
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