Dear Church Executive Secretary

Dear Church Executive Secretary,

First, let me thank you for the service you give every week. Taking attendance for a congregation as large as ours cannot be an easy task. You seem very organized with your small notebook, making notes as you walk up and down the aisles.

I have a confession. No, not that kind of confession. I may have used your position to my advantage. I may have told my naughty six-year old son that you are not in fact taking attendance, but instead writing down the names of the children who are misbehaving. I may have also told him that your notebook goes into the hands of the bishop who then reports to the obligatory parties. You know, Jesus, Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc.

I am sorry for my little white lie at your expense. It really seemed like a good idea at the time. Did I mention my son can be very naughty? It maybe wouldn’t have happened if you did not always have such a stern, serious look on your face during the given task. My son is quite frightened by you.

If you can find it in your Christian heart to forgive me, I will promise to tell my son the truth. I will tell him that you are a nice man volunteering your time to simply take attendance. But, if it is all right with you, can I wait a few more months before I tell him? I am really enjoying being able to listen to the talks for a change.

Sincerely,

Shelley (a very desperate mother of three)