Dear Coaches

Dear Softball Coach,

My daughter is very excited to play ball this spring. Thanks for getting her on the same team as her friend. I was relieved I will have some carpooling options. My daughter is quite athletic, but on occasion you will probably find her more concerned with how her hair and clothes look than the game.


Dear Baseball Coach, 

My oldest son is not really aware he is playing baseball this spring. Yes, I have told him several times, but I don't think it has registered. I am a little nervous it is going to be too intense for him. Don't you think four practices within eight days is a bit much? My son can hit the ball, but I can't promise that he will be paying attention in the outfield. He tends to look for "treasures" on the ground wherever he goes. Hopefully his discovered treasure will be the ball on occasion!

Dear Soccer Coach,

My youngest son will be joining your team this spring, so watch out! This will be his first experience playing organized sports. He has wanted to be on team for about three years now. I will warn you he is quite good. You should  just let him loose when you are prepared to see some serious action. I can not be held responsible for any crazy behavior he may exhibit. Did I mention he is on steroids? Don't worry, it is for his kidney condition. I think it will be to your advantage.


Dear Husband,

I am sorry I signed up all three kids for spring sports. I know you told me not to, but I had a moment of weakness since this is our year living in the U.S. I am already regretting the decision, so you can withhold your "I told you so".


Sincerely, Shelley